


Practice Makes Perfect

by PepperF



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-10
Updated: 2011-06-10
Packaged: 2017-10-20 07:32:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/210280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperF/pseuds/PepperF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Episode insert for Window Of Opportunity (like we need any more). What, you think he got <i>that</i> kiss right the first time?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Practice Makes Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> I bet someone's thought of this before. I'm not letting that stop me. Fluffy like a kitten.

Jack rubbed his sweaty palms against his BDU pants, taking the stairs two at a time to the control room. There was Sam – and there too was George Hammond. This was unfortunate, as Teal'c would say, but ultimately irrelevant.

"Colonel," acknowledged the general. Jack nodded a greeting.

"Sir. Carter, stand up."

Military training brought her to her feet before her brain kicked in. "Sir?"

Jack walked right up to her. "No consequences," he muttered to himself. The minute Daniel had said that, one thing had flashed into his brain. Well, two things, but he wasn't going to do the second – it just seemed wrong. Okay. Right. He steeled himself, and took her abruptly by the shoulders. Leaned forward to kiss Sam Carter.

Only she wasn't there.

The moment she'd understood his intention, she'd scuttled backwards, leaving him looking – and feeling – very foolish indeed.

"Sir!"

"Colonel O'Neill?"

Ulp. That would be the general. Carter was staring at him, wide-eyed. "Um..." he said. Boy, this wasn't how he'd intended to spend the rest of this loop. Fortunately, the end was due any second.

"Colonel _O'Neill_!"

Sam's eyes narrowed in sudden suspicion. Double ulp. She sure could look scary when she was pissed. "Were you just trying to kiss me?"

Come on, come on, where was a bowl of Froot Loops when you needed it? "Uh... maybe?"

"It's because of the time loops, isn't it? You were going to do it because nobody would remember!" The guilty look on his face was enough to confirm her suspicions. "You son of a-"

#FLASH#

"...Anyway, I'm sorry, but that just happens to be the way I feel about it. What do you think?"

Sam and Daniel stared at him curiously. There was no hint of knowledge in her eyes.

"Colonel? Is something wrong?"

Jack breathed a sigh of relief. For a minute there, he'd thought he was in trouble.

\---

Surprise. That was the key.

Yes, he'd just have to catch her by surprise, and kiss her until she kissed him back. Then bam, loop before there were any awkward questions.

He was a man on a mission. A man with a plan.

"Si-mmmf!"

Sam, however, didn't seem to be working with him on this plan. Sam emphatically did not kiss him back. Sam wrenched herself and her delicious lips out of his embrace, her cheeks scarlet. "Sir! What the hell are you doing?"

"Colonel O'Neill!"

So much for Plan B. He should've known no one could steal a kiss from Sam Carter.

#FLASH#

\---

Maybe General Hammond was the problem. Yes, Jack decided, that was obviously it. How stupid of him. Of course she'd never kiss him back if their commanding officer was standing right there, yelling at them.

"Sir? I thought you requested a meeting with the general. He's just gone up to his office."

"I know," he replied coolly. He was so clever. "Stand up, Major." He got all of two seconds lip contact this time, and a ringing slap for his troubles. "Ow!"

"With all due respect, sir," she hissed, disrespectfully, "what the hell are you doing?"

Jack sighed. Plan C was a bust. He brightened as a thought hit him, at about the same time as a burst of light. Maybe if there were _no_ witnesses...

#FLASH#

\---

"No, sir, I didn't know there were no security cameras in the storerooms. Fascinating though that is, I really think I should be getting back to the contr-mmmf!"

Three glorious seconds, and another slap. Sigh. This was starting to get repetitive. But for a moment there he'd thought he'd felt her begin to melt...

#FLASH#

\---

"Sir, I don't see why I need extra combat training, I mean, it's not as though-mmf!"

Wham.

Boy, has she got a good uppercut. Definitely no extra combat training needed.

#FLASH#

\---

"Sir? Why did you press the emergency stop? The eleva-mmf!"

Slap.

He was starting to worry about his masochistic tendencies.

#FLASH#

\---

"Sir, there's nothing wrong with the briefing room table, see? Mmf!"

Smack.

Because he was enjoying himself - in a strange, unsatisfying way.

#FLASH#

\---

"No, sir, I had no idea that the SGC had two walk-in freezers in the kitchen. I also fail to see wha-mmf!"

Slap.

Well, it was one way to spend an eternity.

"Carter, would you mind hitting the other cheek next time? Only this side's getting a little sore."

Whack.

"Ow! Uh, thanks. I guess."

#FLASH#

\---

"Abese erum... to give up... Jack, this is fascinating... Jack?"

"Gotta go, Daniel," he said, crisply. "Little errand. See you next loop."

"Oh. But don't you want to finish-"

"Teal'c," nodded Jack, and the Jaffa waved goodbye without looking up. Jack departed, making his way quickly to the control room, avoiding Mike Gears of SG-5 – who wanted to talk ambush tactics – Doctors Harris and Jacobsen – who were deep in a discussion about time dilation instead of looking where they were going – and Lieutenant Bevan – who wanted him to sign something he'd managed to avoid reading in every loop so far. He didn't want to break that record – he had a little bet with himself on it.

"Carter!"

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"Sir?"

He nodded to the general. "Sir. Carter, do you trust me?"

"Of course, sir," she replied instantly, giving him a little warm glow. Aw.

"So just... go with me on this, willya?"

Four seconds, a definite hint of a melt – and then she twisted away from him, flushing bright red, one hand going to her lips. "What are you doing?" she demanded angrily.

"Colonel O'Neill!"

"This is because of the time loops, isn't it?"

He knew he was looking sheepish.

#FLASH#

Her hurt expression was replaced with a spoonful of Froot Loops.

\---

He stopped for a few loops then, feeling guilty. But still it nagged at him. What if there was a perfect way to do this?

"You wanted to see me, sir – what the – ?"

He'd given himself a little more time, this loop. Most of the kisses had been tried at the end of a loop, after spending several hours working on the translation. This time around, he'd gotten away early.

The candles were borrowed from Teal'c. The red flowers – not roses, but he was working within constraints here – were stolen from Lieutenant Carmichael's desk. The table linen, china, crystal and silverware were from the SGC's VIP event stores. The fizzy liquid in the flutes was beer, but it was mostly all for show, anyhow – he didn't actually have a four-course meal stashed somewhere.

"Samantha." Her eyes snapped to him.

"Sir?" she squeaked, backing away.

"Call me Jack," he requested softly, pacing towards her.

"What the hell are you doing, sir?" she demanded, backing against the closed door.

"I'm going to kiss you, Samantha." He took her face in his hands. Stared down into her wide eyes.

Then he was on the floor, in agony. Past the pounding of blood in his ears, he heard her footsteps, and then the alarm. She was speaking into the intercom. "Get Doctor Frasier and General Hammond down here, stat! We may have a foothold situation."

Ah... crap.

#FLASH#

\---

"I've tried the corny romance thing."

"Sir?"

"Colonel O'Neill?"

He ignored the stares, advancing on Sam Carter where she sat at the control room desk. "I've tried taking you by surprise. I've tried to convince you to go with the flow. I've tried every damn room on this base, and pretty much every scenario I can think of." He grabbed her by the shoulders, and shook her slightly. "Why won't you kiss me?" he demanded.

"Colonel _O'Neill_! Stop this at once!"

He ignored General Hammond's thunderous command. "Why?" he asked again, as the Stargate began to crackle with blue energy.

"You're my commanding officer," Sam protested. Jack let her go abruptly.

"That's _it_?" he said incredulously. "That's the only reason?" She shot Hammond a glance, and didn't reply, but Jack wasn't paying attention to her now. He slapped himself on the forehead.

#FLASH#

"...Anyway, I'm sorry, but that just happens to be the way I feel about it. What do you think?"

Jack dropped his spoon. "I'm such an idiot!"

Sam and Daniel exchanged a glance. "Not that I'm arguing," said Daniel, tentatively, "but I don't see what that has to do with-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," said Jack, distractedly. "'Scuse me. I have a letter to go write."

\---

"Colonel O'Neill," Hammond greeted him.

"Sir." He handed over the piece of paper. He'd waited until the end of the loop again to try this – just in case it went wrong. He really didn't want to spend the rest of a loop being poked and prodded to see if he'd been taken over by aliens. Neither did he want to have _that_ discussion with Sam Carter when she wouldn't remember it. He only wanted to have that particular discussion once - and he wanted them both to remember it for the rest of their lives.

"What's this?" asked Hammond, staring at the paper.

"My resignation," he replied breezily, watching Sam for her reaction. She stood up in surprise.

"You're resigning? What for?"

He checked his watch. Just about time. "So I can kiss you," he replied, and grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her in for a kiss. He got a couple of seconds of lip contact before she jerked backwards, out of his reach yet again, and stared at him in shock. "Dammit, Sam!" he swore, in sheer frustration. "Will you just stay _put_ for once in your life?"

"Sir, I – I –" she stammered.

#FLASH#

"...Anyway, I'm sorry, but that just happens to be the way I feel about it. What do you think?"

Jack swore under his breath, frowning at his Froot Loops. "Need to get her off-balance," he muttered. "Off-balance..."

"Colonel? Is something wrong?"

Off-balance. Hmmm.

\---

"Excuse me, George?"

Please, please, please, this _had_ to work...

"Colonel, what are you doing out of uniform?"

Please, please, please...

"Handing you my resignation."

Please, please, please go with me on this, Sam...

"You're resigning? What for?"

Oh, please, please, please...

"So I can do _this_."

Pleasepleaseplease...

And _dip_...

Yes!

Houston, we have lift-off!

Oh... oh, wow...

#FLASH#

"...Anyway, I'm sorry, but that just happens to be the way I feel about it. What do you think?"

Jack stared sightlessly at his Froot Loops. Wow. Just... wow. He could still taste her. Well, he could taste Froot Loops (and man, had that gotten old fast), but he could still remember her taste...

"Colonel? Is something wrong?"

He looked up. Grinned at her. "No, Carter. Everything is perfect. Absolutely perfect."

\---

THE END


End file.
